The Blonde Question

Why am I blonde?

My natural hair color is what I liked to call “honey brown” – light brown/dark blonde, with red and gold tones. I like the color of my hair.

And yet, the day after New Year’s, I went blonde. Not quite sure why. I like it; I just don’t fully understand why I did it.

One thing about me – I was a theatre major. So in my world, nothing happens at random. The tiniest details have meaning and symbolism, and there are no accidents. (Theoretically, that is. In reality, of course there are accidents.)

I met Kathy Bates once – the first film she directed, called Dash and Lilly, premiered here in Dallas a few years ago, and was followed by a question-and-answer session. The film was about the relationship between Dashiell Hammett and Lillian Hellman, and in one scene they were arguing over the fact that he was a bigger celebrity at the time, and how she felt invisible whenever they walked into a room together. In the scene, she was wearing a burgundy-colored dress, which matched the burgundy wallpaper behind her almost exactly. So their argument became literal; she disappeared into the scenery, while he stood out in his tuxedo and white shirt-front.

I loved that. I thought it was a great touch, and in the question-and-answer, I asked Kathy Bates whether that had been her idea as director, or whether those details were the work of the costumer or set designer (as a theater student, I was interested in the level of collaboration that went into the film, and whether everyone involved had contributed to the imagery, or if it was mainly the work of the director, with the designers simply carrying out her ideas and vision.)

She answered by apologizing for that…it was an oversight that nobody caught. She apparently hadn’t noticed how the effect enhanced the scene and the conversation in question, until I asked about it!

So accidents do happen. And then they, too, get incorporated into the symbolism – the “I meant to do that” effect. And the theory that every little thing has meaning continues. (That theory, by the way, is called “semiotics”. It can be a lot of fun, if you take it too seriously.)

My choice to change my hair color on 2 January - the day after a disappointing New Year’s Eve - could be worth questioning…and I’m fairly sure the two events are related somehow, but I’m not sure how I got from that particular stimulus to that particular response.

And now, looking back…I remember that the blondeness was an accident at the time. I was trying to just lighten my hair overall, with some streaks of all-the-way blonde – and I miscalculated and ended up with blonde hair. And then I kind of liked it, so I kept it, and played with it some more – cut it shorter, and later on added (semi-permanent) pink streaks. (Sometimes I feel like Frenchie, from Grease!)

I like the blonde, random though it was at first. It’s something that I never expected to do, but I’ve gotten used to it and I think it suits me now. Don’t know how long I’ll keep it…or what will trigger the next change.