This is the text of a song called "These R The Thoughts" by Alanis Morissette, which just came on my radio. I love this song, not only because the words are great, but because she took the words and then fit them to the melody. The rhythms of the sentences, and of the words themselves, are broken so that the melody comes through. The text, when written out, doesn't look like a song at all; there's no pattern to it. And the tune, catchy though it is, isn't really substantial enough to be called a song. But when they are put together, it's wonderful! This is one of the reasons why I love Alanis' music so much, and this is the kind of songwriter I would love to be someday.
These are the thoughts that go through my head, in my backyard on a Sunday afternoon, when I have the house to myself and I am not expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend:
Is he the one that I will marry?
Why’s it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued, fear-induced, regurgitated,
life-denying tradition be overcome?
Where does the money go
that I send to those in need?
If we have so much
why do some people have nothing, still?
Why do I feel frantic
when I first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual,
yet you treat people like shit?
How can you say you’re close to God,
and yet you talk behind my back
as though I’m not a part of you?
Why do I say I’m fine, when it’s obvious I am not?
Why’s it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why can’t you just read my mind?
Why do I fear that the quieter I am,
the less you will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why’s it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious
and so easy to get stuck,
and not the other way around?
Will I ever move back to Canada?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am
a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth
when it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?
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