Alison*

She's not an easy person to get to know. At least she wasn't for me.

I had a hard time getting along with her at first. I think I was intimidated by her, or maybe some instinctive part of me recognized her as someone very similar to myself, and so immediately categorized her as "competition." I've always had a tendency to compare myself to others, and lack of self-esteem has caused me to view anyone very much like me as a threat.

I am very competitive with Alison in a lot of areas: within the dynamics of our house, and within our mutual circle of friends. We are similar in age, and our jobs are comparable. We've had similar experiences in the past year, and I think we have a lot of the same strengths, and a lot of the same weaknesses.

Because of some of the things we have in common, Alison and I have been spending more time together recently. As I've gotten to know her a little better, I've come to really admire her. Ali is a very strong woman who treats herself and the people around her with kindness, dignity, and respect. Where I used to compare myself to her and feel threatened, I now look at what she and I have in common and feel thankful.

She has had some really good things happening in her life lately. Not too long ago, I would've been jealous. Now, I'm just happy for her. Everything good that's happened is something she deserves, and most of it is long overdue.

The women I live with are all my family. The relationships between each of us are different, and they're constantly changing. But I've often felt that Alison is more like a sister to me than any of the others - there's that weird blend of affection and rivalry. And now there's friendship, and a trust that I haven't felt for a while (not since the last roommate I was close to moved out.)

Ali - Thanks for everything. I'm so glad to have you as a friend and a sister. I love you!

*Names have been changed.