Learning from Amy

When I was in college, one of my good friends was blind. Her name was Amy Gray. I remember one time, somebody asked her who she thought were some of the most good-looking guys on campus.

I loved her answers. She thought about it for a while, and then named about five guys. And a couple of them were indeed thought to be quite good-looking by most of the female students. But Amy named some of the kindest, funniest, and most interesting men we knew - even though the average girl wouldn't have considered all of them very handsome.

When we asked her why she picked the people she did, she said it was a combination of things. How other people talked about them, and how they talked about themselves. She told us a person's voice, obviously can be attractive all in itself, the tone, the timbre, the way someone speaks, the words they choose. But a voice can also convey confidence or lack of it, humor, attitude, boredom or enthusiasm, a smile or a frown. And she judged by how generally well-liked the various men were that she knew - if a lot of people want to spend time with this man, then he must be pretty attractive.

I still remember three or four of the names on Amy's list. And it's much easier for me to remember them than the names of the guys that were considered handsome by more conventional standards.